


A Galra's Guide to Earth

by greentea97



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, College, F/F, Galra Keith (Voltron), M/M, protective keith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 02:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15985562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greentea97/pseuds/greentea97
Summary: Lance is your typical, luckless in love, struggling college student. He's convinced there's just no person on Earth who's "the one" for him, and no, he's not happy about that.Keith, a young half-Galra, has been sent by Zarkon to search for the Blue Lion and if she's nowhere to be found, to prepare for the colonization of his assigned planet, Earth.When Keith barrels into Lance's apartment window on his first night on Earth, it's up to Lance to distract his new alien roommate from his duties in order to delay Keith's given mission to destroy the planet.What he didn't plan, however, was for said alien to be cute..





	A Galra's Guide to Earth

**Author's Note:**

> hi, thanks for checking this out ! ive had a ton of ideas for this kind of fic and this story in particular since 2016, but since I've started college my life's been nuts. i decided to finally fix and upload what I had so far, but its entire plot is kind of already mapped out in my google drive lmfao. anyway, please enjoy and leave any thoughts or suggestions for me! im excited to finally post this and hopefully complete it !

_August 31, 2018_

_8:50 PM Los Angeles, California_

_Garrison University_

“I’m extremely surprised you aren’t going to Rolo’s party. Scratch that, I’m almost proud of you, buddy.” Hunk adjusted his backpack strap, taking another careful glance at his best friend.

Lance rolled his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean? You act like I _always-_ ” Hunk raised an unamused eyebrow. “Okay. Whatever. Maybe getting Smirnoff splashed at my face has wounded me more than I’d like to admit. _Maybe_.”

Hunk stopped in his tracks in complete deadpan. “Dude. I didn’t even have to get it out of you. Like, please do not try to talk to another woman for at least a week.”

Lance couldn’t help but groan, remembering very clearly how that event had gone down. Nyma didn’t exactly wear a neon sign screaming “I’m taken!”. All he’d asked for was a dance, cue liquid hitting his face, and end scene with Rolo socking him in the stomach, proceeding with his cronies throwing him literally out the building. Hell, if he even showed his face anywhere near those assholes, they’d probably knife him. Or just kick his ass again. Regardless, Lance knew when to stay the fuck away. Well, later than when needed, in this case.

“ _I know_. Thankfully, your best friend is also bisexual, so now I’m going to attempt to seduce my _male_ landlord into giving me two more days for my rent.” He gave Hunk one last grin before dashing towards his apartment complex, leaving his taller friend to only face palm in defeat.

“KEYWORD _ATTEMPT_ , LANCE!”

\--------------

_10:30 PM_

_Redwood Apartment Complex_

Attempts were definitely key to success, but today fell more towards failure. Lance slammed his door behind him, locking it behind him more dramatically than necessary. He bitterly rubbed his cheek that now hand a bright pink handprint blooming onto it. This time, he had simply asked for the extension. But when he’d been denied, he resorted to desperate measures.

_He slammed his hands down on the desk, leaning in close. “Okay, how about a date with yours truly then? On me. Well, in two days. Since I’ll definitely have enough money for-”_

_*Slap!* God was_ not _smiling down on him._

 _“I am_ forty _years old, Fernandez.” The man stayed blank faced, staring into his soul. Who was Lance to blame for trying? Craigslist seemed to suggest plenty of older men in the area wanting a boy toy._

“Obviously the entire human race isn’t interested,” He grumbled, remembering with a grimace Hunk’s advice of avoiding women. Men now included.

More importantly, how the hell was he going to have the money by tomorrow? He could have lived on the university's apartments on campus, but the Lance from four months ago couldn’t nearly afford the housing fees despite having a scholarship. That covered his tuition and books, but he had to find an alternative to living close to school. The whole concept definitely lost its original appeal when the bills started showing up in his mailbox. Lance from four months ago was _definitely_ an idiot for believing he could live alone all by himself.

But for only a thousand a month, it wasn’t too shabby. He had a room all to himself (albeit tiny), a bathroom, a small kitchen, and a living room. He was only a twenty minute bus ride to campus. If anything, it just felt a little more empty rather than homely sometimes. Usually, actually. There was only so much to fill the void that a collection of anime figures could do. He tried not to dwell on the former too much. He had Hunk and Pidge to visit him, after all. What Lance needed was either a sugar daddy or an idiot willing to buy pictures of his feet. Money, if a more simplified definition was needed. Lance was just being creative here.

He probably should get a cat. His landlord didn’t have to know about said cat after all. No, what Lance probably should do was get a better paying job than the coffee shop around the corner, move out of crappy apartment, and _then_ get four cats to have at an awesome studio loft closer to campus.

 _Priorities buddy_ , He mentally reminded himself.

Well, fuck those at the moment. At the top of his list was sleeping, because he’d just studied his ass off for his exams today. After all, the only reason he was even able to attend GU was through his track scholarship. Compared to all the geniuses here, his mere 1250 on the SAT was laughable to their perfect scores. Nevertheless he wanted to fly into space, even if he wasn’t naturally gifted in mathematics or Albert Einstein’s great grandchild. His mama had always told him he’d have to work harder than others sometimes. And boy, was she right.

Lance changed into his blue polka dot pajama set, and after properly toning and moisturizing, slinked into bed. With a satisfied grin, he slipped on his satin sleeping mask, feeling absolutely at peace regardless of the multiple issues he was avoiding that should probably plaguing his mind right now.

 _Me? Issues? Rent? I don’t know her._ And with that final thought, he fell right to sleep.

\----------------

_1:45 AM_

_September 1, 2018_

The sound of a body crashing into his window certainly wasn’t how he’d planned to wake up. Did this asshole even realize how much that piece of glass was going to cost him?

Wait. Someone just broke into his apartment. _Now_ he was screaming bloody murder.

The large form on the ground made no effort to react to his screams. Maybe the bastard was passed out. Now was his chance to strike. Still screaming, Lance jumped out of bed, put on his pink slippers, and ran to the kitchen for a frying pan. He didn’t even bother to look back to see if his potential murderer had gotten up. But before any cops arrived, he’d like at least one whack at the guy.

Yes. Lance would have his revenge in blood if not in the actual green necessary for paying off that now broken window. Sliding back into the hallway, hands raised above his head, he let out a battle cry and charged.

In reality, he was slipping on the wood floor with his pink bunny slippers and crying blindly down the hallway holding the pan. He was scared shitless. Nineteen years old wasn’t exactly the age he’d plan to die, after all. A loud grunt stopped him dead his in tracks, knees quivering. Holy fucking shit. A dark shadow moved its way towards him from his room, only moonlight coming from window in his living room.

The shadowy figure was much taller than him. And he was pretty buff. Lance gripped the pan tighter, his mouth opening and closing in fear, unable to let out any form of language. The guy seemed to be rubbing his face, and shuffling rather than walking. If he wasn’t charging towards him with a machete, maybe he was injured?

Lance licked his lips, adjusting the grip of the pan’s handle in his grasp. “S-Stay back, freak!” He felt a little braver now that the intruder hadn’t tried to kill him immediately.

But the moment the dark figure moved his hands from his face, the pan clattered to the hard floor.

Bright, glowing yellow eyes burned right at him. Who- _What in the actual fuck shit was this?!_

Lance never felt more ready to shit himself right then and there, his knees locked in place, and the closer the figure neared, he more his legs couldn’t fucking move. Cat-like ears began to shape from its head, and Lance felt like his eyebrows were going to shoot off his face at this point. _I asked for a cat, but not like this!_

Lance could be extremely high right now. Someone also could have slipped something in his drink. Ideally, he could also be dreaming. He hoped to God he was dreaming actually, the sleep would definitely be appreciated. His hand trembled to pinch his skin, and a prickle of pain shot through his hand. Yep. No bullshit to be found.

A fucking sentient furry had crashed into his home.

He managed to gain some sort of composure to began to back away desperately, only for his knees to buckle underneath him and landing on his ass. Now the creature was really looming over him. _J_ _ust_ _how much fucking slower could this asshole walk? Kill me now, coward!_ Only Lance would manage to narrate this to himself rather than think of some sort of alternative to exiting this dangerous situation. Wait. He did know what to do.

He started screaming again, crawling backwards desperately towards his door the moment the creature started moving faster towards him.

“ _AUGHHAUGHHH AHH-_ ” His back finally met the door, using the wall to push his shaking body up. “ _AUGGSGSHHH_ -” Still facing his intruder, Lance’s hand clambered around the doorknob, sweaty from fear in a vain attempt to unlock it. “ _WHAUGHHH_ -” This was it. He was going to fucking die.

_“COULD YOU RETIRE FROM SCREACHING FOR A DAMNED MOMENT, BY GOD?”_

Lance immediately stopped screaming. Who the fuck allowed his potential killer to have a hot voice. Scratch that, why the fuck was he speaking like a founding father? Trembling, he managed to slide his hand around to feel for the light switch, and flicked it on.

And just what kind of sick, extremely early April Fool’s prank was this? A large, albeit extremely attractive mulleted purple cat boy was standing in his living room wearing a black bodysuit. Lacking a tail, but he had the ears to be convincing enough. Even in the light his yellow eyes shone brightly.  The mullet, though, was a tad of a turn off— _Why am I thinking about turn offs at a time like this?_

Hold the fucking phone. “A-Are you Jacky Davie’s older brother?”

“...Whomst?”

..Did he just fucking say whomst? Was this guy serious or just really funny? Stifling laughter, Lance coughed awkwardly. “Okay, so you aren’t my biology lab partner’s older furry brother. She said he went to Furcon yearly and I spilled our solution on her backpack accidentally so I kind of just figured last minute this was Jacky’s fucked up way of saying fuck you for being a shitty lab partner. I mean no offense bro but I can’t take this seriously if you’re cosplaying—”

“Do humans ever cease from talking?”

 _Humans?_ “My guy, are you trying to imply you.. _aren’t_ human?” Lance heard his voice crack from fear, but Jacky had mentioned some furries didn’t exactly classify themselves as humans, only leading him to scroll the tag on tumblr and five minutes later blacklisting it.

Now catboy straightened his back from his original confused stance, narrowing his thick brows in place. “No, I am Keith, servant to Zarkon of the great Galra empire. You, human, will show me to your leader so I may eliminate him.”

Lance blinked. What. The. Fuck. “...I’m broke as hell, so I'm a no-go for a road trip, but I’ll _gladly_ direct you to our White House. A majority of humans want him taken out anyway!”

Keith remained unamused. “Interesting. Nonetheless, once your leader is disposed off, Emperor Zarkon can begin his colonization of this loathsome planet. We mustn't make haste, so–”

“ _COLONIZE?! WHY?”_  No thanks!

Keith only blinked. “Because it is Zarkon’s wish.” He answered, as though Lance had just asked if the sun was hot.

Lance crossed his arms, arching a shaped brow. “Then I’m not showing you shit!”

Even at this, Keith stayed undettered. “Very well. I’ll simply dispose of you and search for another human to guide me to your leader.” He neared his claw towards his belt, and with a white glow a blade materialized into his grasp.

Lance’s blue eye twitched. “...Did I say no? You must’ve heard me wrong, handsome. What I _meant_ to say was I’ll help you out tomorrow morning sharp! Yup!” He batted his eyelashes, offering a shaky smile.

“Morning? Why not now?” Keith practically pouted. It was sort of...cute?

“Duh! The president doesn’t materialize from his lava chamber at night, only when the sun is out of course!” Lance explained quickly, pulling shit straight out of his ass. His sleep deprived brain was a work of art, honestly.

Keith nodded his head in understanding. “I see. Very well then, human. Lead me straight to him tomorrow morning.”

“My name isn’t _human_ , it’s Lance, so let’s establish that first.” Obviously tell an alien your name first rather than ask him to get the fuck out of your apartment that he now owed property damages to. A true icon for universal relationship making.

“Understood, Lance of Earth. I shall rest here until our preparations are complete.” Keith sauntered towards his tattered blue bean bag, plopping himself right on top and curling into a fetal position.

The moment a small snore escaped the alien’s lips, Lance let out a breath he’d held for too long. He ran a hand through his hair, wiping all his sweat and dried tears from his face. Quietly, he tiptoed down the hallway back into his room, walking around the shattered glass shards on his carpet, and fell into bed.

He hoped to God it was still a dream somehow. That window was going to cost him an arm and leg, for Christ’s sake.

\------------------------------

Sunlight woke him up the next morning, and the back of his mind noted it felt particularly brighter than what he was usually used to.

“Must’ve slept in..” Lance yawned, eyes still sleepily closed, stretching his arms over his head as he sat up.

With a pop of his back, he finally opened his eyes, and felt his stomach drop. His floor was covered with broken glass, and his blue curtain lay ripped with it. Then that meant...

“No. Fucking. Way.” Last night was not the result of an edible, unfortunately.

Lance immediately jumped out of his bed, speed walking to his living room where he left an alien to crash at. He silently prayed the alien left or got bored and decided not to rip his throat out while he was sleeping. Holding his breath, he peeked around the corner, praying to every higher being “Keith” had left.

What he saw instead curled on his beanbag wasn’t the intruder from last night, though. In his place was a pale, dark haired, _clearly_ human man. 

When Lance had said he wanted to have a guy over at his place for once... this isn't exactly what he meant.

**Author's Note:**

> Krolia left Earth with an English dictionary from like 1845 to teach Keith and just didn't bother seeing what year Earth was actually in?? That's the reason for Keith's outdated English at the moment, he'll catch up eventually with everyone else soon. I'm also looking for a beta reader btw, I'd really appreciate it!


End file.
